I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
