Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We just shotgunned beers for America
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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