just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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