that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
