I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
