I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
