This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
