oh god the rape fog is back!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
