omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
