hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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