There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
