Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize