dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize