I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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