At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
