You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
