I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
