ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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