there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
