Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
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Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
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Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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