C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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