did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
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You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
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i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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