so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
