3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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