my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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