Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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