clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
