why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
