We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
