Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize