That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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