dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
