I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
