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Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize