I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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