i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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