Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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