i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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