if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
