he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
