Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
