doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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