My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
