I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It was confusing and full of hummus
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize