I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
