I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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