he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
