She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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