Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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