College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize