I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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