shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize