But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
