So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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