Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I love black thongs
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
