Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there

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  (443): party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there http://tfl.nu/5lco
  Replies (10) Good night (779) Bad night (3363)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.

  (518): View more from New York

  Huh?

  (917): View more from New York City

  I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.

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  (917): I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college. (518): Huh? (917): I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school. http://tfl.nu/00x0
  Replies (33) Good night (840) Bad night (4095)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...

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  (517): Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions... http://tfl.nu/wg6s
  Replies (41) Good night (8261) Bad night (1451)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate

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  (617): Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate http://tfl.nu/lx6z
  Replies (61) Good night (1205) Bad night (5740)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.

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  (802): I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends. http://tfl.nu/oh1c
  Replies (10) Good night (5035) Bad night (1087)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex

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  (203): just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex http://tfl.nu/zx0t
  Replies (12) Good night (4711) Bad night (1033)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.

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  (920): You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation. http://tfl.nu/euxm
  Replies (2) Good night (2644) Bad night (781)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?

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  (251): How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama? http://tfl.nu/p6aj
  Replies (14) Good night (1022) Bad night (2626)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life

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  (781): U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life http://tfl.nu/mfnn
  Replies (2) Good night (580) Bad night (862)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again

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  (509): threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again http://tfl.nu/loxl
  Replies (4) Good night (534) Bad night (1231)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.

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  (908): But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying. http://tfl.nu/oo2a
  Replies (14) Good night (710) Bad night (1427)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.

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  (615): Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly. http://tfl.nu/1cg3
  Replies (1) Good night (610) Bad night (437)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.

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  (520): Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot. http://tfl.nu/72kv
  Replies (2) Good night (304) Bad night (760)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.

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  (801): I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass. http://tfl.nu/21od
  Replies (6) Good night (700) Bad night (364)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....

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  (919): It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason.... http://tfl.nu/q7go
  Replies (4) Good night (1123) Bad night (334)

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