Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(260): View more from Indiana

spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner

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(205): View more from Alabama

just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.

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(718): View more from New York

all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(503): View more from Oregon

Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped

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(716): View more from New York

He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.

(585): View more from New York

Find him and marry him.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.

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(352): View more from Florida

If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.

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(530): View more from California

I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!

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