ADVERTISEMENT

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic

  Fav 2 1739 930

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  i think my tv is drunk

  Fav 5 1627 783

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (309): View more from Illinois

  My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass

  Fav 35 4652 1405

  share tweet
  

• (845): View more from New York

  Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.

  Fav 32 1215 4975

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (336): View more from North Carolina

  If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed

  Fav 20 8674 1811

  share tweet
  

• (520): View more from Arizona

  I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth

  Fav 13 1513 4401

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final

  Fav 7 2817 1283

  share tweet
  

• (50): View more from

  I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.

  Fav 5 3288 1117

  share tweet
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.

  Fav 14 3466 1120

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.

  Fav 6 1298 1752

  share tweet
  

• (432): View more from Texas

  she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.

  Fav 18 4151 1116

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (408): View more from California

  My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.

  Fav 5 1593 835

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.

  Fav 4 948 651

  share tweet
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.

  Fav 1 403 163

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (207): View more from Maine

  you left your anal beads in the dishwasher

  Fav 4 54 115

  share tweet
  

Randomize