You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.