But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.