What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style